"...if you really mean what you say, and if you are absolutely resolved to die, and if nothing whatever will shake your determination — don't spoil yourself by committing suicide, but be beheaded handsomely at the hands of the Public Executioner! Observe: you'll have a month to live, and you'll live like a fighting-cock at my expense. When the day comes, there'll be a grand public ceremonial — you'll be the central figure — no one will attempt to deprive you of that distinction. There'll be a procession — bands — dead march — bells tolling — all the girls in tears — Yum-Yum distracted—then, when it's all over, general rejoicings and a display of fireworks in the evening. You won't see them, but they'll be there all the same."

"I can't conceive of anything more distressing than to have one's marriage broken off at the last moment. But you shan't be disappointed of a wedding — you shall come to mine."

"... My good sir, as Lord High Executioner, I've got to behead him in a month. I'm not ready yet. I don't know how it's done. I'm going to take lessons. I mean to start with a guinea pig and work my way up through the animal kingdom till I come to a Second Trombone. Why, you don't suppose that, as a humane man, I'd have accepted the post of Lord High Executioner if I hadn't thought the duties were purely nominal? I can't kill you — I can't kill anything! I can't kill anybody!"

"Flirting is the only crime punishable with decapitation, and married men never flirt."

"Is this a time for airy persiflage?"

"Here's a How-de-do!"

"Suicide is a capital offense."

"Very glad to have my opinion backed by such a competant authority."

"As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list..."

"Don't laugh at him, he can't help it -- he's under treatment for it."

"I don't see how a man can cut off his own head."

"Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult--not to say dangerous--thing to attempt."

"Can't you see I'm sililoquoizing? You have interrupted an apostrophe, sir!"

I beg to offer an unqualified apology."

"If he finds you alive, I shall have the greatest difficulty in persueding him that I've beheaded you."

"...in spite of all my meekness, if I have a little weakness, it's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts!"

"Will you refrain from putting in your oar?"

"Your Majesty's word is law."

"Go on--don't mind me."

"Thank you--it's simple torture."

"Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?"

"Oh, bother the flowers of spring! Tra la."

My good sir, I decline to pin my heart upon any lady's right heel."

"Oh, Yum-Yum, Yum-Yum! Bother Yum-Yum! Take Yum-Yum and marry Yum-Yum, only go away and never come back!"

"Well, a nice mess you've gotten us into!"

"Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?"